The Rash

The Rash. Shortly after I got the good news that the alternative approach to cancer treatment that I was pursuing seemed to be having a positive impact, I started developing a mysterious rash. And I don’t just mean a basic, run-of-the-mill rash. This rash was dramatic. I itched like you wouldn’t believe, and when I had the itching episodes everything would swell. My neck looked sunburnt. My hands were so bad that it affected my ability to function. I couldn’t wash my hands…I couldn’t bathe my daughter…I had to wear gloves all of the time.

What in the world was going on? No one could figure out what was causing this horrific rash. The most popular guess seemed to be that the rash was a side effect of the nutrition-based home treatment program that I was on following my visit to the Tijuana clinic. After all, I had lived my life in a certain way for over 40 years. Now I had radically changed my diet and was taking a lot of supplements. Perhaps the rash was an allergic reaction to one of these supplements. Or maybe it was because my body was detoxing, and these toxins were coming to the surface and causing the rash.

“Maybe you’re just putting your body through too much,” some of those around me would say. Which always made me think, “But not nearly as much as if I had undergone chemo or radiation!”

I did testing, and all of the tests came back as “normal.” I saw many, many different medical specialists, including both conventional and holistic/alternative practitioners. Each had a different opinion, but none had any real answers for me.

I went back to not knowing what to do or who to listen to, and the entire thing started to put a strain on my marriage and my family. Thankfully I was able to find strength in prayer and meditation.  

No one could figure out why I had this rash, let alone treat it, until I saw a homeopathic doctor who put me on a remedy that actually helped. No, the rash did not completely disappear. In fact, it still persists to this day. I finally had some relief, but it wasn’t until earlier this year, when my main medical provider, Dr. Antonio Jimenez from the Hope for Cancer Institute  suggested for me to try this new supplement he found through another patient. I said why not I tried so many things and I was eager to try anything that can give some relieve from this rash and thanks to Dr Tony, the rash got quite better. I still deal with it today but the quality of my life has improved since I started the supplement he recommended.  

My experience with this rash had a profound effect on me, and I started going into a new season in my journey of healing and discovery. I began to focus less on nutrition and more on my emotional side. And I started exploring my childhood—including all of those issues that I could not seem to confront when I was faced with the New Patient Questionnaire at the Tijuana clinic.

I prayed and meditated. The homeopathic doctor recommended that I start journaling, so I did, and in the process I discovered things about my past that I didn’t realize had been bothering me, particularly about my childhood.

Through all of this I came to discover another truth: Our experiences influence our beliefs, and our beliefs influence us at a subconscious level. There were things from my past that had been impacting my subconscious thought, things that something inside of me had been hearing, but that I wasn’t consciously aware of at all. These things had shaped my view of the world and had been influencing me in ways I didn’t even know.

As things bubbled up I had to examine them, examine my beliefs around them, and pull back the mantle to see what the real truth actually was. Where my beliefs were based on false understandings I had to start to set things right. And where my beliefs were based on truths I had to go into forgiveness. Because once I saw clearly how my past was impacting my present, I realized that what I would do with this new information was up to me. Forgiveness and change are choices, and I chose to follow the path that would lead to wholeness, healing and joy.

Power Thought:

Further than from a sunrise to a sunset, that’s how far I’ve been forgiven and I choose to forgive and walk in joy today.